Without a song or a dance, what are we?
Everyone must visit the very ace new site, Thank Me For The Music
, this very instant! Reasons for aceness:
1. It's very pretty in pink
2. It has fab mp3s including the legendary Story Of Love by OTT
3. The author is called Fernando (although probably not really as the site is Abba themed)
4. He has linked to me and many of my poptastic pals
5. He doesn't like Busted
6. The dot of the i in music is a star!
If those 6 reasons aren't enough to send you running over there then what is?
Edit: I managed to get the title of the site wrong and forgot to put in the link - well done Jessica! All fixed now though.
Cos She's So Claire Voyant, The Way She Looks (Into The Future)
Meet Claire Voyant, Dirrrty Pop's new resident fortune teller, and her psychic sidekick Sybil the hamster.
Pictures not to scale. They're here to tell us the future of pop music. Here are their predictions for the month of May.
Claire: I predict that there will be no.1s for Ronan & LeAnn and Frankee, as well as big hits for the 411, Xtina Milian, Natasha Bedingfield, Gabrielle and Jessica Simpson. After April's male dominated charts (Eamon, D12, Rasmus etc.), this will be a great month for the girls of pop. Sybil, what do you think?
Sybil: I'm looking forward to seeing the disappointed little faces of VS when they miss the top 40 and are subsequently dropped!
Claire: Gosh Sybil, you're so mean sometimes!
Thanks guys, we'll check back at the end of the month to see how many of your predictions come true.
I was just sitting quite happily at the computer when I heard a song I recognised coming from upstairs. I suddenly decided I loved the song but it wasn't until I had stood at the bottom of the stairs singing along to the whole thing until I realised it was...Twen2y 4 Se7en! For people who don't watch adverts on The Box or Popworld and don't know this lot, they are the most rubbish boyband ever invented. Their first single, the name of which I have forgotten, was exactly that - instantly forgettable. Aren't lead singers
meant to be pretty? He looks like my old form tutor *shudder*. The picture at the top of their site
reveals that one of them has a detachable right arm. Also, three of them appear to be identical - will they be the first triplets in pop? The new video looks a lot like Blue's for Breathe Easy except without the snow or the funeral (not much like it at all really then!) and the song is in a similar vein too. What is more worrying than my accidentally liking it is that it was on the radio at all. Now I am scared.
Video Killed The Radio Star
Kristian Leontiou - Story Of My Life
I knew nothing about Kristian before I saw his video or heard the song, except that he is Canadian and dresses in a 'skate punk' style. Sounds brilliant...not! Have you ever come across a likeable Canadian skate punk singer? Or in fact any likeable Canadian singers at all. Eek! I just remembered Ryan thingy, Canadian Idol (aka Jamie Theakston) who is not someone I like to be reminded of. Anyway, I was pleased to find that this song is a pop ballad with a slight rock edge and Kristian has an OK voice. I don't think I'll be rushing out to buy this because it is frankly, very Canadian (ie. easy to sleep through), but at least it isn't Avril Lavigne or Ryan Thingy.
Kurt Nilsen - She's So High
I've known this song for about a year but it finally gets it's UK release this summer. Kurt doesn't actually look too awful in the video. If you ignore the teeth, he's fairly normal looking. The song is quite similar to his World Idol winning song, Beautiful Day by U2, except better because that song is rather overrated in my opinion. This is in fact a cover of Tal Bachman's no.30 hit of a few years ago. It's done pretty well in Europe, but I doubt Norwegian dentists are very pleased - they are going to get a very bad reputation!
Sarah Connor - Bounce
I first saw this video last August in Germany (her home country) and I was pleased to see it's finally being released in the UK. It's also out and doing fairly well in America. If you can't remember Sarah, she's best known here for her song Let's Get Back To Bed Boy featuring TQ. She did release the moderately ace, No Diggity sampling He's Unbelievable onto the Box in 2002, but it either didn't chart or wasn't released in the end. This song has been accused as being a copy of Mary J Blige's Family Affair and it does sound similar but it's more of a pop song. I'd like this to do well and it sounded fab on TV compared to the boring British excuse for pop these days, so hopefully it will.
So US As Idol
Watching American Idol last night, my Mum noticed someone in the audience wearing a very silly orange hat. I agreed that it was horrible, but moments later noticed something quite disturbing - the owner bore a strong resemblance to So Oz As Idol champion, Guy Sebastian. A few minutes later, Ryan confirmed my suspisions - Guy was following in the footsteps of Kate Thornton and appearing on American Idol. Wow Guy, you're so famous now!
The show itself was not particularly interesting. There were some good performances but it was Barry Manilow and as anyone with eyes can see (even Mr Manilow himself), Barry is Clay senior and therefore not worth even thinking about. He also wrote Mandy *bleugh* and the equally rubbish Copacobana. The most exciting part was the results, where the three most talented girls found themselves in the bottom three while the lucky to be there Jasmie, Diana and John were safe! Luckily it was possibly male with scary eyes Jennifer who was booted off and LaToya and Fantastia (both fab) are sticking around. I'm starting to think even leaving the decision of the winner up to the judges would be a fairer and more reliable way of finding the stars of the future. I doubt that the winner of this show will be as popular as previous Idols although anyone that wants to kindly remove Clay from the universe will be warmly welcomed.
The Music Of My *Heart*
asked me to recommend some good new pop so I thought I would post some great songs for everyone to
Shebang - Romeo
I only downloaded this today but I am in love with this band already, mainly because I just went on their website and *MAN IN DRESS ALERT!* that happened. Anyway, this song is like a much poppier version of Surferosa. It's fun and cheeky sounding. They seem to think they are punk rockers but as any Euro fan knows this means pop with added electric guitars, which is rarely a bad thing. I am now starting to wonder if that girl is not actually a man in a dress but a girl with a chin piercing that just looks like facial hair. Hmmm... I will translate a bit of their bio for you: "Punk-rocking pop duo Shebang are made up of Marina, age 20 and Yohanna, age 21. The started out in 2001 with the album "The Whole Shebang" and sold over 80,000 copies of their chart hit Romeo..."
Mandy Moore - Drop The Pilot
By far the best track on Mandy's 2003 covers album, Coverage, this was originally released by Joan Armatrading in 1983. It's a brilliant, cheerful and catchy song but there is one dodgy part in the chorus where she sings what sounds like "drop the manhood, I'm the easy rider". A look at the lyrics
tell me it is mahout, not manhood and I have no idea what that means. The best bit is after each chorus when she sings "Animal, mineral, physical, spiritual, I'm the one you need." It's just ace!
B3 - IOIO
I laughed loudly when someone recommended this song last year, because the B3 songs I'd previously heard were absolutely useless although quite amusing I must say, but when I saw a link to download it I thought I'd give it a try anyway and I'm so glad I did cos it is the one song I know will never fail to put a smile on my face. It is of course very cheesy but in a good way, and very summery. It's just brilliant and it's a pity that it didn't get anywhere when it came out here recently (although I'm not entirely sure it actually was released). One of my favourite Euro tracks.
Maroon 5 are no.4 in the midweeks! They're only being beaten by Eamon, D12 and The Rasmus which are all huge singles so I'm very pleased with that, especially considering the last single went in at no.16. This Love is the highest new entry this week. They're proper big stars now! James Fox is at no.12 which is good considering they released the song nearly a whole month before Eurovision. Surely they should wait until the week of the show at least? Even if that week is full of big singles, Eurovision is such massive promotion that he'd be much more likely to go top ten that week. Even Jemini did, the week after they failed miserably last year!
Top 10 Singles Of 2004 SO FAR!
1. Will Young - Your Game
2. Maroon 5 - This Love
3. Phixx - Love Revolution
4. Britney Spears - Toxic
5. Maroon 5 - Harder To Breathe
6. Scissor Sisters - Comfortably Numb
7. Pet Shop Boys - Flamboyant
8. Alistair Griffin - You And Me Tonight
9. Surferosa - Lucky Lipstick
10. The Rasmus - In The Shadows
Top 5 Albums Of The Year SO FAR!
These are albums that I've aquired this year cos there aren't many good ones released yet.
1. Scissor Sisters - Scissor Sisters
2. JC Chasez - Schizophrenic
3. All Girl Summer Fun Band - 2
4. Butterfly Boucher - Flutterby
5. Nelly Furtado - Folklore
The Top 50 Buff Hotties In Pop! I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats already.
Songs That Could Conquer The World
I'm often discovering songs which could easily be no.1 in every country on the planet if only they were properly promoted or even released outside their home country. So here are some of the best hidden treasures and missed opportunities I've ever heard:
Thicke - When I Get You Alone
This song was set for release in the UK some time last year but if it ever got released at all it didn't do well. However, everyone I know who heard it loves it and it did pretty well in Europe and Robin Thicke's home of America. It's a epic of a track, with a very famous classical piece as the backing track, which he sings over with a massive great chorus and a fantastic middle 8. His album is mostly disappointing but he made up for it by writing Friday's Child's best song, Very Kind (although WIGYA is very different to VK you can hear the Thicke style in it). I was incredibly excited when I heard that Robin was writing for Will and then when I found out it was Very Kind that he had written as you can imagine I jumped for joy a little bit.
Robyn - Blow My Mind
Robyn's released a few corkers over the years but this song is by far her best in my opinion. It's the kind of thing Kylie or Britney would sing if they were a million times better (high praise from me as I *heart* Britney) and I actually think it's on a par with Toxic. It's got that same cutely intoxicating value but much more delicate and just gorgeous. It's quite a sexy song but it gives me images of fairies for some reason (they'd have to be rock chick fairies though cos there's some great guitar bits in the middle) and at the beginning it sounds like one of those wind up mobiles that babies have over their beds. It's like a poptastic lullaby although I doubt anyone could go to sleep without wanting to hear the rest of this song.
Erik Faber - Century
I thought this song was alright when I first heard it, then I put it on my mp3 player and sat out in the sun listening to this and I think I almost had a stroke because it is one of the most amazingly emotional songs I've ever heard. The best bits are the first sombre verse, the heart-wrenching chorus (especially the last chorus with the massive "fi-IRE") and the bitter line at 1:28, "Well everyone's got needs but (emotive pause) what about mine?" If Radio 2 got their hands on this it could be SO huge. I heard them playing Hoobastank the other day which is in the same vein and rather ace but nothing on this. If you want a song to scream along to but find rock music idiotic, this should be your angry anthem. Faber than fab!
Jason Mraz - The Remedy (I Won't Worry) & You And I Both
Quite a few people do know of this guy now, his album is easily available and he's even done a few tour dates in the UK but his songs still haven't gained the countless weeks at no.1 they deserve. The Remedy is a fast paced, very catchy song bursting with funny lyrics which I'm proud to say I can recite faultlessly! You And I Both is a beautoful, heart-warming ballad that sounds quite normal until the 2nd or 3rd listen when you suddenly realise you're absolutely in love with it. Jason is a less serious answer to John Mayer, but these 2 songs are far superior to anything he ever released. Hopefully Jason will have another try here with The Remedy soon but it looks unlikely...
Hitchhike - Travel Girl
Now here is a song perfect for the UK charts. It has novelty value but is still devastatingly cool and sexy, whilst being unbelievably catchy and hypnotising. You can't fail to smile listening to this track - there is just nothing like it. It's basically an American girl speaking over an excellent electropop backing that Girls Aloud would die for. My favourite lines are: "I wake up and the dude driving has his pants down, huh! What the fuck?", "He kept chattering about electric cars - what? What? Never mind!" and "Woah, that guy was whacked out!" I have to thank Edward for introducing me to this fine track and also Erik Faber. Hooray!
If I'd written this a year ago The Rasmus and Stacie Orrico would have been included, so I guess there is some hope. I also loved Lucy Woodward and look where she is now - nowhere! If you can't find these tracks and want to hear them you can download them off me from Soulseek or WinMX, more info on the sidebar ->
Exciting Times Ahead
This Love by Maroon 5 comes out next Monday. It has acoustic versions of Harder To Breathe and The Sun. The cover is green. Ben Jelen's album comes out properly tomorrow. There is another programe about boybands on channel 4 tonight. Gary Barlow is maybe starring in the next I'm A Celebrity. It is only 1 month and 12 days til I see Will. Aww that's ages!
Take That And Party!
I caught the last hour of the Take That concert last night and I'm so glad I did because it was amazing. I was happily reminiscing about the loveliness of Mark Owen and A Million Love Songs, when suddenly the boys disappeared off stage and returned in pants and a bit of rope disguised as a top. The most hilarious thing was during Relight My Fire when whilst Robbie, Mark, Howard and Jason wore just boots and a little material to cover their (not so) private parts, Gary was kitted out in a horrid red jacket, black trousers and a roll neck jumper! Was he not boiling hot? Did no-one notice and ask him why he wouldn't join the others in their almost nakedness? Is he in fact an alien (from a very cold planet) and has to cover up his body so no-one finds out? Very bizarre. The other astonishing part of the show was Mark Owen's dancing - limbs flying everywhere! These days boybands get away with the occasional choreographed jump, barely in time swaying or worse of all sitting still on stools. I so wish I'd been 5 years older, Take That would have been my favourite band by far.
Have You Met Mr Jones?
Have you ever wondered what happened to The Other One from Savage Garden? If you're like me, this is one of the great mysteries of life. On the other hand, you have probably forgotten he ever existed, or worse forgotten who Savage Garden are completely. You know, Darren Hayes' band? The Insatiable bloke? Oh never mind! I have been on a quest to find out exactly what did happen to Daniel Jones. I already knew that he worked with the vaguely ace Aussie group Aneiki, but I have found some other interesting info:
Exciting news #1
He's engaged. To a member of Hi-5! It's a girl as well, Kathleen. I'm sure people will continue saying he and Darren were a couple though.
Exciting news #2
He's working with a Popstars contestant, name Julie Strickland - this will probably mean something to our pals in Oz unless she is totally obscure. Still, he is doing something and the more boring and unfamous he gets the more likely they will reform the Garden, although I'm not sure they'll ever repeat the Affirmation album, or Truly Madly Deeply. But they could at least try.
Exciting news #3
Today is the 7 year anniversary of the release of the Savage Garden album. I didn't get into them properly until later but that is beside by the point. Happy anniversary!
In other news, click here
and scroll a bit for loads of Maroon 5 live performances. Ryan plays bongos!
Video Killed The Radio Star
Pop! - Heaven And Earth
This band have to be good or I'll have to change my e-mail, username and even the name of this site so people don't think I'm a fan. Luckily this is alright, although I was expecting much better. The boys don't sing at all, possibly because one is just a dancer (though he's hot so it doesn't matter) and the other is Jamie Tinkler. The best bit by a mile is the great middle 8. You can always count on a great middle 8 to save a song. I'm not sure if this is going to do well though - probably not brilliantly so.
The Calling - Our Lives
This band are my occasional guilty pleasure. I've got their Camino Palmero album and it's quite rubbish, but I can't deny my adoration for Wherever You Will Go, Adrienne and Alex's fab duet with Santana, Why Don't You And I. Our Lives has had huge amounts of radio play already, having been in the Core Control top 10 for months and on a few occasions swiping the no.1 spot away from our William. The video is a typical American light rock affair, with the most amusing part being the usually rather lovely Alex's scary resemblance to Aaron Carter!
V - Blood, Sweat & Tears
This new boyband have been promoted plenty on CD:UK and TOTP Saturday, even Popworld played the video in full a few weeks ago, but still there is no sign of them on the music channels which I find quite odd but I suppose they are stalling to release after McFly have died down a bit, as V were also on Busted 's tour and have the same management. This song is a little George Michael-ish in the same way a lot of songs are at the moment, and it's catchy but doesn't seem strong enough for their debut. This is not going to capture a nation of kids desperate to get away from pop and I don't think even Busted's mostly brainless fans are going to fall for the same trick twice, even if the band are total buff hotties.
A Shocking Revelation
Adam Levine is not in fact a man, but a gorilla. Or perhaps even a mammoth. Look at the hairy arms in this photo:
It's quite disturbing!
He looks ridiculous. And scary. But he won 2 awards, Best Male and Best Album so well done Will! Take that Bedingfield! This one was actually voted for by the public rather than some snobby industry types.
I have just found the September album on CD Wow. September is responsible for such aceness as September All Over, We Can Do It and La La La. But will her aceness last another 8 songs and should I spend £8.99 to find out? None of the tracks are online as far as I can find. If anyone has heard it please tell me even if you are shy and don't want to. It's important!
Recently I've been watching The Amp music channel, because they play more Maroon 5, Scissor Sisters, Pet Shop Boys and Basement Jaxx than the other channels and you don't have to sit through Atomic Kitten to see them. However, I think the overall indieness of the channel has infected me somehow as I find myself enjoying the new singles by Keane and Snow Patrol. I may need professional help.
We're Speaking All In Code
As you probably know, the title of this post is a line from the Sugababes current hit In The Middle. You may also know that the girls have their own secret code, so I've translated 5 of their songs into a code for you to descramble and added one line from the song as a clue. Good luck!
1. Uivzp Orpv Nv
'Cos it's all about the dark in me
2. Rm Gsv Nrwwov
Fellas get cool and freaky
3. Mvd Bvzi
Sitting here stressing at 2:30am
4. Hlfo Hlfmw
Intuition's got a hold on me, there's magic in the air
5. Ilfmw Ilfmw
We'll ride stir-fried on the beat down low
I have found a solution to the problem of not being able to sing JC's song All Day Long I Dream About Sex out loud due to rudeness. I will just sing it about Seth
instead and it will be entirely true. And any excuse for a picture.
What's Cooler Than Being Cool?
Watch 'What Do I Do' here
They are 2 teenage sisters, Anna and Lindsey and their band of 3 guys. They have nice clothes and a fab video, so I was a little disappointed that the song is a bit Hilary Duff-ish, especially when they cited the ace No Doubt and Garbage as their influences. Still it's very catchy and hopefully their other material is a bit more original.
Dirrrty Pop Investigates: Girl/Boy Bands
With SC8 worryingly absent from Planet Pop and the launch of Pop! on the near horizon, I decided to see if I could find anyone to take S Club and Steps' crown.
They're Irish but have somehow managed to have small success in Sweden. They're scheduled to release their single Spanish Eyes in the UK this June. One of them thinks she's Xtina and the boys are all utterly unfanciable.
This American group are one of Christian Music Planet magazine's '12 Artists To Watch In 2004' and have done terrible covers of We Are Family and Walking On Sunshine. However, their own songs are very cute. Don't seem to be heading to the UK any time soon, though.
I give up!
New Look Links
I've re-organised the links on the right as they were a bit messy, so now they're alphabetical, say when a site has been updated and it's all powered by Blogrolling (nothing to do with bog roll, apparently). If I've missed anyone off or you'd like your link added, e-mail me
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